Top Shop jacket | Boutique sweater | Aldo boots, bangles
Joe’s jeggings | H&M headband | Spring bag

[ Photos by Daddy ]

It snowed over the weekend. Snow seems to have a different effect on you when you get older. Although the sight of it is pretty, most of the thoughts that go through my head…. aren’t. When it snows, life can become a nuisance. It gets complicated, and put on hold. I parked my car in front of my house, which happens to be on a hill. Shortly after, I came out to see my car slanted with the trunk sticking out into the road. (And this is not because I’m a bad driver. Yes, I’m Chinese.) My car had slid… down the hill. But thanks to driving school, I turned the wheel when I parked and prevented my car from sliding all the way down the hill, into traffic. See, adult problems. Luckily, it usually doesn’t snow that much in Vancouver.

With the little bit of snow we got, I decided it would be nice to do an outfit post, outside, with the white stuff. Taking photos outside can be a hassle when you’re an only child. I have no one to ask to ask for help, and I refuse to set up my tripod in the cold, while strangers gawk and WTF me as they stroll by. But I do have parents. I made my dad take pictures of me with the snow. Genius. But awkward. And yes, he was all like, WTF. Oddly enough, I didn’t give him any direction. He just worked it. He must read my awesome blog. Hi, Daddy.

XO,

H&M romper | Priorities Blazer | Aldo shoes, bracelet | Love Bunnie headband
Kate Spade bag | Michael Kors watch | Club Monaco belt

When I was younger, I remember my aunt telling me that that I should coin this phrase: I don’t know. And don’t get me wrong. I’m not dumb. (I tried to prove it in this post.) I know some things. I’m just indecisive. Really. Really. Really, indecisive.

Some people just know. They know what they’re going to wear each morning. They know which color shoe they prefer. They know which flavor of ice cream they’re going to order. And it’s easy for them to choose what to do when given options on a day with… nothing to do. Me? I can’t even decide what kind of food I feel like eating if I’m not craving anything in particular. And once I’m there, I can’t decide what to order. I suck.

You know what else sucks? Those other people who really know. They just do. And I don’t mean about the unimportant things in life. I mean real shit. These people are all-knowing on an elite level. These are the people that grow up knowing all their life that they want to be a lawyer. And they do it. Then there the others. Those that meet someone and within a short period of time, they too, know. Apparently when you know, you just know.

So what’s the secret?

For one, I graduated years ago, and honestly, I still don’t know what I want to do. When I was in high school, I thought I wanted to be a doctor. Or a pharmacist. Clearly, I’m not. I’m blogging. For fun. Who would have thought?

I had a conversation with my GF the other day and she had the same question. How do you just know? How do you know if he’s the one? What if you think you might know. Is that knowing? Or is there some ultimate force that takes over and makes you 100% sure? Do you trust yourself enough to make that decision? Because I don’t. I “knew” once.  And it @#$%’d me over. Now I’m just scarred for life. Traumatized. All-unknowing. That’s another story for another day.

I think a part of the issue is that I’m a perfectionist. I want everything to be perfect, to be right. So, I can over-analyze things. Sometimes. As a result, I don’t know what I want because I’m scared to make the wrong decision. And I can’t figure out what’s best for me. And maybe I’m scared of failure. Which can in turn, cause failure. So what am I to do? Take a leap of faith and risk making a very bad decision? Or play it safe and miss out on opportunities? Are you supposed to think with your head, or your heart? I have a problem. Maybe I’m going through my quarter life crisis. At least that, I know.

What about you? Do you know?

XO,

Wildfox hoodie | DIY shorts | Seychelles booties | Longchamp bag
Michael Kors watch | Aldo bangle

Just kidding. I’m kind of smart. Or at least I used to be. I got a science degree. True story.

Then I started working. Working, and forgetting everything I learned in school. Which was okay, because what kind of normal person uses the Pythagorean theory, analyzes action potential, calculates the projectile trajectory of a moving object or knows what pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis means on a normal day? (Look it up.)

I’m not working in the industry I went to school for, but I’m okay with that. I like internet marketing, business, arts and crafts and the like, but you can learn all of that through experience. You can’t learn science though. This is what I tell myself this to make me feel better about my degree. I did enjoy it though, I swear.

And over time, all this knowledge — the knowledge that made my brain so sexy and used to meet cute boys — has leaked out of my head and been erased from my memory… forever. That, makes me sad. And annoyed. Yea, you know what’s annoying? Being the spectator of a somewhat science-related debate when someone turns to you and goes, YOU should know this! You did science! Oh yeah? Well you know what? I DON’T. I don’t remember what I learned 3 years ago, and you know what? I never learned that anyway, you asshole.

So I feel dumb. I feel dumb that I can’t remember why your ears turned out funny or why your elbows are double-jointed. Or why you have acne. (Okay I do. It’s from bacteria eating fatty acids off your face.) And sometimes, I miss being in the industry. I miss really using my brain. So tell me – did you go to school for something you are or aren’t doing now? And how’s that going for you?

XO,

Front & Company | Forever 21 | Zara

H&M

Aldo Accessories | Front & Company

XO,

Zara pants, belt | TNA top | Aldo shoes, accessories

Photos by Mark Montgomery

Aside from my candid expression in photo 1, and my awkward stance in photo 2, I like how these pictures turned out. And I like the red hot pants. They’re a bit big on me, which means I’ll still be able to wear them later on when I become round and cute…..!!! But please, don’t all jump at the chance of that. I know it’s hard because my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…

So I’ve been listening to music on YouTube and it always seems to have a strange effect on me. It’s kind of like being suddenly injected with sugar, followed by a severe adrenaline rush. Next thing you know, I’m up. I’m jumping and dancing in my room (with the door closed) and jamming to the beats. Then, I get the sudden urge to work out, go to the gym, run a marathon. That quickly dies… and then this extreme, intensifying urge to shop surges. What instigates that, I have no clue. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m actually really weird, you just don’t know it. Maybe it’s a good thing. Let’s just leave it at that.

XO,

Joe Fresh blouse | Love Culture tutu | Aldo shoes, accessories

Photos by Mark Montgomery

I was recently dubbed with the best blog award by Makeup Morsels — thanks love! — which came with a set of life pondering questions…about me. So here we go.

Name your favorite color: Pink. I’m typical. Was that not obvious?

Name your favorite song: That’s hard… but if I had to pick one: Sunday Morning by Maroon 5. Or maybe Someday by Sugar Ray. Reminds me of summer when I was young.

Name your favorite dessert: How do you pick just one? Apple pie a la mode, white chocolate brownie, lava cake, tuxedo cake, Diary Queen ice cream cake… desserts with chocolate, crunch and caramel. Oh, and ice cream. Condensed milk. And a hint of nutella.

What is pissing you off? The difficulty I’m having answering questions about myself, as always.

When you’re upset, you… bitch.

Your favorite pet: I’ve really only had one pet. The goldfish don’t compare to my bunny. I want a pudgie French bulldog one day.

Black or White? White.

Your biggest fear is… not finding happiness, to look back and regret.

Your best feature is… my ass. I kid. Smile, so I’ve been told.

Everyday attitude: plan ahead, think of the future, but don’t forget to live in the present.

What is perfection? Being completely content and happy with yourself.

Guilty pleasure: deep-fried and salty foods, spending money I shouldn’t be.

If anyone else would like to answer the questions above and share a little something about yourself, don’t forget to let me know — would love to read it!

XO,