12 days. 72 pills. 720 drops. 300 poos.

Okay, it wasn’t so bad. I did the detox and I did it successfully… minus the few cheats here and there. Hey, i needed some sugar or I was going to DIE.

What detox? This detox.

It was a good way to force myself to eat extremely healthy for 12 days. And learn to put some healthy dishes together…. sort of. Sort of because I only ended up eating the same thing about almost every day. For everyone who thinks about detoxing to lose weight, I did manage to lose 5lbs for a few days. For. A. Few. Days. And before the detox was over, I was back to normal.

I did feel pretty good during the thing – lighter, faster, stronger… hah! and I never over-ate,  felt bloated, lethargic, or like a wobbling baby whale. Cut out fats, sauces, sugars, salts from your diet and you’ll feel like a supermodel, even when you`re not.

As for poops, totally not as bad as I expected. I thought I’d be dropping pebbles left and right… but that wasn’t the case. Am I gross?? And the pills… yes, they tasted disgusting in the beginning. And they’re huge. I’m not talented when it comes to pills but by the 3rd day, the pills had no taste and I became a master pill popper. Bring on the drugs.

Oh, right. There was an herbal extract too. Tasted like nothing. Things tasting like shit is for wussies.

so what’s for food?

Day 1: Sunday

• boiled egg
• salmon/avocado sushi cone + no soy sauce
• spinach salad + lemon juice and olive oil
• Cactus club. Can I get the salmon with no sauces, no spices, no salt with brown rice instead of white and asparagus instead of mushrooms? I think that was a slight cheat.

Day 2: Monday

• apple
• brown rice + peas
• my awesome black bean salad + tons of tooting afterwards
• baked potato with butter. Yes, butter is allowed. Drink it now!

Day 3: Tuesday

• apple
• leftover black bean salad
• 1 piece of chocolate… I mean… no…
• fish + chicken + Chinese veggies + brown rice

Day 4: Wednesday

• apple… again.
• bean salad… again.
• spinach salad with cucumber, tuna, avocado
• fish

Day 5: Thursday

• boiled egg
• tuna/salmon sashimi + no soy sauce!! UGH.
• wakame salad. Is that a cheat?
• White spot. Steak, potatoes, veggies. That might be a cheat again.

Day 6: Friday

• boiled egg
• apple
• toro sashimi + no @#$%ing soy sauce.
• wakame salad
• sardines
• curry chicken + brown rice
• sable fish
• 3 vodka waters. Oops. But it’s Friday.

Day 7: Saturday

• spinach omlette
• strawberries
• terra sweet potato chips. They’re potatoes…….
• sole + spinach

Day 8: Sunday

• spinach omlette… again
• corn crackers
• can of salmon + oatmeal cardboard crackers
• Chinese new year dinner. Chicken, soup + 1 carrot
• Vegetable chips. They’re vegetables……
• sole + spinach
• rice crisps. That’s probably not allowed.

Day 9: Monday

• boiled egg
• corn crackers
• herbal tea
• brown rice with beans, celery, tuna
• rice crisps
• super duper healthy salad from Whole Foods

Day 10: Tuesday

• boiled egg……
• can of tuna
• hamachi/wild salmon sashimi….. with soy sauce.
• gomae + wakame salad
• avocado roll
• negitoro roll
• corn crackers

Day 11: Wednesday

• boiled egg……
• brown rice with beef, celery, veggies
• chili tuna with oatmeal crackers
• RAMEN. All hope is lost.

Day 12: Thursday – the last day.

• boiled egg…….
• rice crackers
• Chronic Tacos. Rice bowl with grilled fish and veggies

And then I went crazy. And it was good.

• McDonald’s bacon McMuffin
• coffee
• apple juice
• pizza + potato skins
• artichoke tomato pasta
• hawaiian tuna poke
• Korean BBQ beef with rice
• truffle fries
• beer float
• maitai

Detox whaaat? Never again.

XO,

Don’t take this the wrong way, it’s not a case of TMI where you need to be immature and go ‘Ewwwww! You’re gross!‘ while squirming uncomfortably in in your chair. I’m just stating the facts. And that fact is, bunnies poo a lot.

In attempt to rid my body of all the junk that I’ve been overdosing myself with over the winter holidays, I’m going to do the probably nearly impossible. A @#$%ing cleanse. I am THE worst at controlling what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat. Although I have become more disciplined over the past while.

I chose the Wild Rose Herbal D-Tox program after hearing about it from some brave souls. Apparently, it makes you feel good and energized. Like the energizer bunny. Which I am not. However, it also apparently makes you poo. Multiple times a day. Yessss. That, I can do.

The program lasts for 12 days. You take 2x 3 types of pills – a cleanser, bile inducer, laxative – and 30 drops of a herbal extract, twice daily. And eat anything you want — except for dairy,  shell fish, cake, candy, cereal, flour, fruit juice, peanuts, white or brown sugar, mushrooms, pasta, white rice, bananas, honey, thick soups, oranges, sodium etc…. you know, anything you want, you can have.

So we’ll see how this goes. It’s day 1 and I’m hungry and light-headed. I’m going to need some help.

Anyone else done a cleanse…. and survived?

XO,

There’s something about me I haven’t told you guys… I LOVE FOOD. No seriously. I love it. I indulge in it. I inhale it. With a passion. I have a tendency to eat whatever’s in front of me and I have a problem with over-eating. Close friends always ask me why I don’t blog about food, and honestly, I don’t know? Well that time has come. I love food. Watch me eat, and you may be scared.

Black Bean Salad is one of my favorite dishes. I absolutely LOVE it. It’s simple, fast, healthy and deeelish! (I salivate just looking at it.) Serves about 6-8. But to me, serves just one.

Ingredients

• can of corn
• can of black beans
• tomato
• avocado
• red onion
• cilantro
• lime
• salt & pepper

1. Dice up the avocado, tomato, a bit of red onion and a bit of cilantro. (I LOVE cilantro and onion so I ignore the ‘bit’ part. Shuddup you ‘ewwwers!‘)
2. Mix in the can of corn and black beans.
3. Add a pinch of salt, pepper and some lime juice. Mix.
4. And then.. what is it.. Oh right. You’re DONE.

Try it. And you better enjoy.

XO,

MmmMmm…

This is some serious shit.

Don’t mess with my Sharkfin Soup.

She is freakin’ passionate. I love it.
Where can I get me one of those? I need her to do my bidding.
Thanks for sharing, Kym.

XO,